Failing to Fool
by Coral
Summary: Chakotay and Joe Carey talk.


Failing To Fool By Coral

Disclaimer: Darn it all, Paramount... you've created a monster...

Hm, a J/C and C/W inspired by Coronation Street... honest. I don't know how old the episode was, or anything I like that... I never watch the show, but we were eating in the lounge, and it was on, and the dialogue was so J/C that I had to use it!

"Commander... may I talk to you? Please?"

Chakotay looked up to where Carey was standing, by his table in the messhall. The engineer had a plate of Neelix's food balanced on one hand, and he wore an anxious expression.

"Sure..." Chakotay said, curious at this plea from the engineer. Was B'Elanna causing a ruckus down in Engineering? He hoped not; Carey and B'Elanna were far past that point now.

"As a friend - I could use a man-to-man talk," Carey admitted, looking a little sheepish.

Chakotay grinned. "I'm glad you consider me... qualified," he said with a wry grin, and indicated the seat opposite him. Carey slid into it gratefully.

"You're as qualified as anyone, I guess," the engineer said, regarding his plate with less than enthusiasm. "I'm not even going to dignify this plate with a joke," he added glumly.

"Carey... Joe, what's wrong?" Chakotay prompted when Carey seemed reluctant to continue.

Carey sighed heavily and wrapped a long piece of pasta slowly around his fork. "Commander, I have I problem." He paused, then decided to elaborate a little. "A big problem."

"Oh?" Chakotay's tone was non-committal as he waited for the engineer to continue.

"With a woman." Carey gave up any pretense at eating and dumped the fork onto the plate, then pushed it away from him. He leant forward and buried his head in his hands. "I - I love her, and I feel guilty because of my own wife, and she's married too... or was, I should say. Same as me." He looked at Chakotay, and seemed to draw strength from the understanding in the man's eyes. Everyone on Voyager was familiar with their awkward situation. "But, I don't think she's interested. Even if she is... I still feel guilty about it, sir. I don't want to force her into a decision between me, and him."

Chakotay's eyes flashed with sympathy and he lent forward, steepling his fingers, looking eerily like Tuvok. "Believe it or not, Joe, many of us often feel the same way."

"I know, Commander, but that doesn't make it any easier for any individual case. The thing is... how do I face spending the rest of my life living with her, yet not with her? we have a wonderful friendship, but I can't help wanting more sometimes."

"Joe, my people have many stories. Here's one from my own experience - When I was at the Academy, I had a roommate who would spend all our Astrophysics classes staring at the girl in front of him, Lucetta Raven. She had long auburn hair and gray eyes, and the poor guy was besotted with her. But she wasn't interested in being anything more than friends, as she was already engaged, although her fiancé was in another solar system at the time. She was loyal to him though - fiercely so. My roommate felt guilty for loving her, but couldn't help himself. Equally so, he knew he couldn't come between the couple."

Joe was listening attentively, his whole mind fixed on Chakotay as he spun the tale. Chakotay took a sip of tea, then continued. "For months he struggled with his feelings, trying to get them under control. He was growing to be very close friends with Lucetta, and he knew he had to stop feeling that way for her."

"Was this guy Vulcan, by any chance?" Joe asked with a teasing grin.

"No... Although he often wished he was, just to stop the feelings. Eventually... he came to terms with it. He worked out how to live. Every morning... he reminded himself how grateful he was to have her as a friend, as a confidante. How happy he was to know her, even though he could never be with her in that way."

Joe looked at him quizzically. "Did he stop loving her, though?"

Chakotay sighed. "Never... it was too strong to die, but he could keep himself in check. The feelings stopped being hurtful, and simply became sweet... bittersweet, but not harmful. Even though they didn't have passion, they had friendship, and he found that almost as rewarding."

"I note you don't say 'as' or 'more'," Joe commented. "Love may be a many-splendoured thing, but it's also often underestimated."

Chakotay nodded. "You and Sam will work something out," he advised with a grin.

Joe looked up with a start. "How did you know...?" he asked, surprised. "I never told anyone..."

Chakotay smiled sympathetically. "Carey, you two aren't fooling anyone. Give it time, and you'll come to some agreement. Whether it'll be love, friendship, or something else, only you can decide."

Joe sat still for a long moment, turning everything over in his mind. The messhall was quiet, he and Chakotay the only ones left after the normal lunchtime.

Eventually, he lifted his head, and looked Chakotay in the eye. "Thanks, Commander... thanks for that. I needed to talk to someone."

"I'm always here, Joe, for everyone. If you ever need to talk, come to me, and I'll listen."

"Thanks..." He stood, and walked to the door as Chakotay stared out of the window. "Commander?"

"Yes?" Startled out of the reverie he was falling into, Chakotay turned back to Joe, who was standing in the doors.

"If you ever feel the need to talk yourself, Commander, my door's open to you."

Chakotay smiled wryly. "What gave you the impression that I'd need that?"

Joe shrugged. "We're only human, Commander. We all need to talk sometimes." He turned, and walked out a little further, leaving Chakotay to turn back to the view. And his back was turned when Joe added, "And you aren't fooling anyone either when it comes to the Captain..."

Then Joe left while his luck was still intact.

END 


End file.
